kayspace

Epiphany!

Wed, 30 May 2012 07:30:39 +0100

An epiphany (from the ancient Greek ἐπιφάνεια, epiphaneia, “manifestation, striking appearance”) is the sudden realization or comprehension of the (larger) essence or meaning of something. The term is used in either a philosophical or literal sense to signify that the claimant has “found the last piece of the puzzle and now sees the whole picture,” or has new information or experience, often insignificant by itself, that illuminates a deeper or numinous foundational frame of reference. [Wikipedia]

I had an epiphany last week. Things really can’t go on the way they have been and I must be the one to effect a change, if only for my own sanity.

Fast forward one week and I’m very grateful to have had wonderful friends near and far, old and new, encouraging me every step of the way. I’m happy that they’re proud of me for what I’ve done so far.

So while the journey is far from over, watching Criminal Minds last night, I came across Mitch Albom, paraphrased “Every ending is a beginning. We just don’t know it at that time.”

This is an amazing video. Watching this, I realised that this is...

Wed, 23 May 2012 03:44:55 +0100

This is an amazing video. Watching this, I realised that this is what I’ve done (unconsciously) when I was shooting Caroline’s pregnant pictures in particular. I learn so much from fstoppers. It is really one of my favourite photography sites. Enjoy!

"Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just..."

Mon, 21 May 2012 07:53:39 +0100

“Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”

- Deborah Reber, Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul

Pink = happy

Wed, 09 May 2012 14:47:00 +0100

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” Audrey Hepburn

I saw this quote somewhere (I forget where - Pinterest perhaps?), fell in love with it and have been obsessed with it the whole day. So much so that when I got home, I was inspired to art direct and style a little still life Instagram pic of the things I love - that are pink!

And have I mentioned that I heart Audrey Hepburn? She is a big style icon of mine! And this quote? Well, let’s just say that liking something she said is like (pink) icing on top of the cake!

Finally a semi cool night after a month or so of unbelievably...

Mon, 07 May 2012 14:22:59 +0100

Finally a semi cool night after a month or so of unbelievably hot, humid and still nights. Nights where I toss and turn unceasingly.

Two parcels arrived for me today. One - my fairy lights from HK bought on eBay UK. They hang next to my paper hearts, cladding my very ordinary windows in pretty light.

The rest of my lights are off now and I may not stay awake enough to open my other parcel on Skype. I closed my bedroom door because the noise from my brother’s TV was getting to me.

I go to bed, my heart full of hopes and dreams tonight. Please grant me favour.

"Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude..."

Fri, 04 May 2012 13:22:32 +0100

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”

- Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum

One year ago...

Wed, 02 May 2012 16:12:00 +0100

I was walking the streets of and meeting friends in New York City.

Flying domestic to Santa Fe to meet Helene Dujardin for the most awesome things I’ve ever done - food styling and photography class.

Where will I be, one year from now?

[Tape from Pugly Pixel.]

"I know I was stupid. The life I want. There is no short cut."

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 16:59:39 +0100

“I know I was stupid. The life I want. There is no short cut.”

- Jenny Mellor, An Education

It makes me so happy that I know where this is! In Brooklyn!

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 15:43:02 +0100

It makes me so happy that I know where this is! In Brooklyn!

Oeufs en cocotte à l'huile de truffle

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 14:05:36 +0100

Alas my neglected blog. I have come to share with you what has to have been one of the yummiest breakfasts I’ve had in a while. Now, if you don’t know, I love eggs. I love fried eggs, poached eggs, scrambled eggs, steamed eggs. I love eggs sweet as much as I love ‘em savoury. So I bought some bacon last week - it’s been a while old friend - and I decided to make oeufs en cocotte à l’huile de truffle - baked eggs with truffle oil. Baked eggs are such a comfort food! I had mine with bacon & chopped tomatoes to give the bacon a lighter lift.

Ingredients:

2 eggs per person
2-3 tablespoons of thickened cream or cooking cream or crème fraîche (or from Rachel Khoo’s recipe - béchamel sauce)
2 rashers of (streaky) bacon per person, or however much you want
1 tomato, chopped into bruschetta sized cubes
Pepper (not salt needed as the bacon provides all the salt)

Directions:

Fry up or grill some bacon until cooked to your desired crispness.

Chop the tomatoes. You can use anything in your fridge - mushrooms are another favourite because they go really well with bacon.

In a 14cm Le Creuset ovenproof dish or any other equivalent, pop a spoonful of cream into the dish and then layer your tomatoes and bacon. You may wish to cut your bacon into smaller slices.

Crack your eggs and slide them into the ramekin. I was making a hearty breakfast for myself so I had two eggs in a 14cm Le Creuset but you can use one in a 10cm ramekin.

Top up with another 1-2 tablespoons of cream.

Drizzle with truffle oil.

Add some freshly cracked black pepper.

Pop into a 180ºC oven for about 12 minutes for a soft yolk.

These babies are perfect for brunch, served with a slice of good baguette. It set the tone for a great day and I accomplished many things. Have a wonderful week ahead filled with yummy brekkie and brunch!

I am my sunshine

Sat, 21 Apr 2012 15:30:34 +0100

If you ask me what kind of blog this is, I wouldn’t have an answer for you. This blog is simply an expression of my thoughts and feelings, hopes, dreams, aspirations, inspiration. I write to communicate with people but I write more for myself. Why not write in a paper diary? Well, I think the tendency when writing in a a medium that no one will ever see is that one might tend to over wallow when one is sad. Which isn’t good. Anyway, perhaps someone will find my thoughts a comfort, someone will like a recipe that I’ve made, and someone will be inspired by a photo I’ve taken.

I’ve been back in Singapore for almost 11 months. 11 months! Time flies when I think of it. I reiterate from a previous post - I have been happier the last four months than the six months before that. This isn’t to say that it’s been a wonderful joy ride; it’s actually been a roller coaster of my happiest and my saddest. But through the tremendous heartache, sometimes feeling that my life is over, sometimes wanting my life to be over, I find myself discovering something.

I can’t live in the past. And I can’t live in the future. I can dream, but I can’t put my present on hold while tapping my foot impatiently waiting for that future.

A couple of months ago, my bedroom got a make over. It’s not perfect but I like it better than what it was before. One thing I loved about my flat(s) in London was the string of fairy lights that first adorned Ikea Expedit shelf which doubled as my cocktail bar, and then accented the doorway of my living room which I always thought was so New York like. So today, I purchased a string of white LED fairy lights and I’m going to string them along my curtains beside my paper hearts.

Maybe I am only learning now that I am the only one who can make myself happy. I always depended on others to make me happy and of course other people make you happy. I guess what therapy and time are teaching me is that when it all boils down to it, I have to be happy with me, I have to be the one who makes me happy.

It’s hard for someone who’s always felt “not good enough” and facing the things I’ve faced, oh boy is it hard. I comfort myself from the cards that seemed to say “though you may feel that you’ve made a wrong turn in life, this is a turn that you had to make, a journey that you have to travel.“

I am really grateful for the friends I have around the world, and my friends here, new and old. Some friends have dropped off the radar, some friends may only travel the same journey with you for a period of time; it doesn’t make them less special. In the game of life, there is no 100%. Maybe that’s why I struggle so much, searching for perfection.

So there is beauty in the everyday and home in what isn’t my home. There’s joy in tears and hurts in smiles as I think of the journey which has been my life. And do I regret ever knowing you, my Aussie friend asked me yesterday, and my answer has to be, “No.”

"Suffering is our best teacher because it hangs onto us and keeps us in its grip until we have learnt..."

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 15:07:01 +0100

“Suffering is our best teacher because it hangs onto us and keeps us in its grip until we have learnt that particular lesson. Only then does suffering let go. If we haven’t learnt our lesson, we can be quite sure that the same lesson is going to come again, because life is nothing but an adult education class, If we don’t pass in any of the subjects, we just have to sit the examination again. Whatever lesson we have missed, we will get it again. That is why we find ourselves reacting to similar situations in similar ways many times.”

- Ayya Khema
Being Nobody, Going Nowhere

A Sunday fun day out with Ling

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 14:58:00 +0100

I’m so glad to see Ling again, in Singapore too, especially since the last time we met, I was in no position to actually have fun because of what’d happened. But it’s been four months and I have to say - though it’s been extremely tough, with major bouts of depression and crying - I have been happier the last four months than the six months before that. How about that? I have made an effort and I’ve been very lucky with most of my friends - friends from all over the world who’ve been supporting me and cheering me on, cool new friends who “think different,” and old friends who’ve become good friends again. Of course, some friendships have died a natural death but life is all about change, isn’t it?

Ling’s now based in KL back from London. We got to know each other in London and we’ve been good friends ever since. She’d never been to Singapore before so on her virgin trip here, I decided to take her indie scene hopping.

[Photo layout from Pugly Pixel]

Of course, I woke up extraordinarily early from nightmares (about packing and suitcases!!) and started my day folding and cutting paper into colour coordinated signatures ready for stitching.

There’ll be more pics and a write up later but in essence, we went to Drips, Forty Hands, Books Actually, Nana & Bird, The French Bookshop, Selfish Gene Cafe, Oakam Market Vintage (nice, interesting pieces but really bad service attitude, be warned), Chinatown Market - these were the main shops. The day was so hot we filled ourselves with liquid and thought we were full from lunch at 3 but we had dinner again before heading home. And I am exhausted.

Today...

Sat, 31 Mar 2012 19:40:00 +0100

Today was a day of two parts. The first was lounging around and the second was hard at work.

It rained hard all night last night. I had the windows closed and turned the fan off in the wee hours and woke up under the covers, feeling all snuggly and comfortable. I looked around and the light diffused gently through the curtains, just skimming the sheets on my bed. I closed my eyes, willing myself to go back to bed, and I did for a bit. And when I awoke again, I treasured that lovely feeling of just staying in bed for a whole extra hour.

After lunch with the parents, I considered going to Daiso to check out odds and ends for next week’s event/fair at United Square. If you’re in Singapore, love handmade things (books and stuff) and want to support me in my bookmaking hobby, do drop by on 8th April. But the lazy Saturday afternoon feeling overtook and I decided to go home and - watched Suits most of the afternoon.

Early evening, I got my act together and started working once again on my books. CC came over. It was a pretty productive day. We got more books made. Gorgeous ones. I hope I have the time to do some proper product photography before the event. She left at about 9 and I continued, barely stopping to scoff down some dinner. By the time I cleared up, it was 12:30 am (!!) and then I started playing around with PhotoShop and created this image [vellum envelope and index card courtesy of Pugly Pixel].

Some time during the day, I saw this quote on this picture on TedX Singapore. It said something to me but I didn’t exactly know what and I tracked its creator to Inspired by Charm. I lost all track of time book making and it was only after all the gluing, stitching, sticking making the books did it hit me again creating things makes me happy; hence the quote.

Here are two of tonight’s books. There are more. And over the next 7 days, I will be hard at work making books every spare minute I have.

I hope you’re enjoying the weekend. Come down next Sunday on the 8th to United Square. Tweet me if you do!

"You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough."

Fri, 23 Mar 2012 12:18:38 +0000

“You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough.”

- Frank Crane

My father's daughter

Sun, 18 Mar 2012 12:30:47 +0000

I love this picture. For me, this picture shows how much like my dad I am. And I think that’s a wonderful thing. He’s doing his leather craft. I’m making my handstitched books.

Just today, I asked him, “Dad, can you please find something for these needles of mine? They’re kinda getting out of hand.” Ten minutes later, he hands me a Leica branded box wiht my needles inside. “Where’d this come from?” I asked. And he replied, “1986, it was a Leica light meter. I kept the box because it was nice.”

I’m kinda like that. I like nice packaging, particularly packing that can be re-purposed. I’ve had two Kate Spade wallets in my entire life and while one of them sadly has not withstood the test of time, I’ve kept its red & aquamarine box. One is now filled with thread and trim - for my book binding, amongst other things. The other is filled with hardware - scissors, X-acto, ink, bone folder and other bits & bobs.

Re-purpose.

I also really like the cupcake boxes from Plain Vanilla and their efforts in sustainability. Read about it here. As they don’t accept the 4-cupcake boxes for returns, I recycled the cupcake holder insert, patched up the little tear with some pretty fabric tape, and it is now the box that holds all my fabric, again for book making.

Now all I need is to find a home for my paper (up to 12” x 12”) and I’m pretty much all set.

Happiest

Thu, 15 Mar 2012 07:10:45 +0000

I just realised yesterday (or maybe today) that I’m happiest when I’m creating something. Whether that is baking or cooking something, entertaining friends with a themed party, binding a handmade book, designing a laptop bag, taking photos, art directing concepts, composing shots, styling or writing. I’m at my best when I’m creating something, producing something.

I don’t know why I studied Business Administration at uni. Though the business side of a (creative) business is extremely important, for me, it comes second to the passion of creating something. Growing up as Generation X in Singapore was a strange thing. Creativity was not encouraged, other than mandatory art classes that probably sucked all the creativity out of me as I was made to draw a bunch of bananas with a 2B pencil. Had I any inkling of what I wanted to do with my life then (not that I have a much better idea now; I’m still muddling through uncharted waters), I might have chosen not to go to JC. Or taken out a loan to study art & design in NYC or London. But, as they say, hindsight is 20/20 and regrets have no purpose other than weigh one’s heart down.

I can still do something with my life. I’m figuring that out, a little each day; some days yield a bumper crop and others are as dry as an abandoned well.

Yesterday, I realised I love making books. Coptic stitched and kettle stitched, cloth covered hardcovers. I also recently realised I love concepting a shoot and all the art direction that comes with it. In fact, Vanessa, from one of the indie shops I contacted - Plain Vanilla - has already agreed for us to use their premises (I’m foreseeing lots of chocolate hazelnut cupcakes - my favourite!) and I’m in talks with Ruth of The Little Happy Shop (which truly does make me happy).

Tomorrow brings a trip to Chinatown maybe for fabric remnants and thread (and length alteration of my gorgeous pink Uniqlo jeans which I just received today). And who knows what else? One days, I feel hope in me. Today is one of them. Today is an 8.

I want these shoes!

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 09:08:06 +0000

I want these shoes!

Words

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 16:56:00 +0000

I like words. I like pictures. While I can take pictures, I can’t write succinct, encouraging, uplifting yet honest words. So here are some of my favourite words.

Kayspace on Pinterest

"Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness."

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 14:54:06 +0000

“Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.”

- Sigmund Freud