It’s a priviledge, not a right
My dad was telling us (Sue and Sheldon came over for dinner) about how as a kid going through the ‘terrible 2s,’ I started saying “I want…” all the time. And my dad decided that it was time to teach me what a ‘want’ was and what a ‘need’ was. So the story goes that he went throught some examples with me - rice, chocolate… And then he said, “Is a car a want or a need?” and yours truly repled, “Old car or new car?”
Rights and prividedges are kinda like that. Today at Paddington, I experienced one of the worst displays of discourtesy. I was at the Millie’s stand, patiently queueing behind a little old lady. Lo and behold, a woman in her mid thirties walks up and doesn’t bother queueing and stand beside the little old lady. I didn’t say or do anything. I waited till the little old lady had finished with her purchases and then I stepped forward and said hi to the man behind the counter.
I then proceeded to give my order. I told him that I had a 1-for-1 voucher and I’d like to get a treatbox. To my left, Mismannered Missy said (not to me by the way) “Oh I only want to buy 2 cookies” at which I turned to her and told her that she was being very rude for trying to cut the queue and that if she were really in a hurry she should have asked me if she could go ahead and not jumped the queue thinking that a sweet Chinese girl wouldn’t have the guts to tell her off.
She then started saying that she wasn’t… and she didn’t… And that I didn’t have to make such a big deal out of it. I told her that she was being very presumptious. And then she said, “So which part of the States are you from?” I turned to her and said “I’m not from the States,” and turned back to the man trying to choose which cookies for my treat boxes. And then she said “Well, I hope you enjoy England,” and I turned to her and smiled and said “Thanks,” and turned back. I think that really pissed her off.
I’ve actually asked another lady who was buying 1 cookie or something like that to go ahead and place her order once when I was buying multiple cookies at Millies. I’ve given extra vouchers to people waiting in line. I wasn’t in a hurry today and being delayed 2 cookies would have hardly affected my schedule. However, sorry Missy, this is one priviledge you missed out on and a right that clearly wasn’t.
When I first came to London, I thought people were really polite and everything, taking 5x as much time to say hello, asking people about their day/weekend… But perhaps like the trains situation in India where it’s a fist fight to get a seat on the train, afterwhich it is absolutley civility once seat allocation has been determined, people are only nice to people if there’s is a consequence or continued affiliation with the other person. Like the English woman (I wouldn’t call her a lady) who tried to cut the queue. I’m sure she’s the picture of civility to the people around her, spending mindless minutes chatting about the weather and how great her weekend was with a much-needed doing nothing and chilling out.
On the whole, I find the women here more discourteous than the men. Maybe it’s because men are generally conditioned to be “gentlemenly” (although I have encountered some locusts) and women size up other women as competition, especially when it’s old versus young, fat versus slim, smooth versus wrinkly. In any case, English Missy messed with the wrong Asian. Go pick on someone your own size/IQ/race and talk to The Hand.
